Dealing With a Crush at Work

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Rather than being passive aggressive which is what you behavior can and will be read maybe try to help a junior colleague. I'm now in this job, being told I'm amazing at it, looking good I. Try to continue to be as fair as possible. THAT is the path that will lead to greatest fulfillment.

Name: The Power Crush Signs: Your mind wanders off on what it would be like to be with this person. I want this feeling to go away. Stack of dirty dishes in the sink, living room a mess, the everyday gets on your nerves kind of stuff when you live with someone.

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I am happily married for 3 years with absolutely no desire to ruin my marriage. I love my wife and my beautiful daughter. Recently I have been crushing on my married co-worker. It is weird, I could see if i was unhappy, but I am happy. My crush is not happy in her marriage. I find her so much fun to be around, she is cute, and her personality is hilarious! Even on weekends we text about random stuff, and before you know it, it is 2 hours later. Nothing shady or anything that i would not want anyone, especially my wife to find out. I find myself constantly thinking about her, looking forward to seeing her, making excuses to see her, etc. I know she does the same. She actually is texting me as I write this. I am ashamed to say, i get butterflies sometimes when she is around or when she texts me. It is so weird, because again, i am happy in my marriage. I am not looking for anyone to tell me to pursue this. Quite the opposite, I want people to tell me I am an idiot. I want her to tell me she is happy in her marriage and loves her husband, instead of always complaining about him. This is not going to get easier. We are working on a big project for the next few months, and will travel together here and there. Nothing will happen, but this is not easy. I want this feeling to go away. I want to feel normal again, and see her as just a friend, which she is. Should i tell her how I feel? I love my wife and I live my life. I think for both of us this is just an innocent crush. We spend so much time working together that I am hoping it is natural to feel this way, whether right or wrong. Even though she complains about her husband, I know she loves him. She has a beautiful family, as do I. This is emotional, absolutely. It's an innocent crush. It would never get physical. When I said bring it up to her, I did not mean professing my crush and wish to be with her or anything like that. What I meant was bring up the fact that it's not normal to text so much, as harmless and in innocent as it is, and our working relationship if I'm not mistaken is turning into a mutual crush, which does not seem right. I would never throw my life away for a stupid harmless crush. It's easy to say then don't, stop it. But it's not that easy. I do want the crush feeling to go away. You're putting way too much effort into her. Texting for hours on the weekend? Turn your phone OFF and spend time with your wife. You are 'bonding' and allowing feelings to grow with your crush and that's very dangerous. You say you wouldn't cheat and you love your wife but things can happen.... You need to talk to your co worker and just say you need some distance and it's not fair to your wife that you are focusing and bonding with another woman. And, don't worry about hurting your co workers feelings, she knows why things have to cool down, she isn't stupid. I love my wife and I live my life. I think for both of us this is just an innocent crush. We spend so much time working together that I am hoping it is natural to feel this way, whether right or wrong. Even though she complains about her husband, I know she loves him. She has a beautiful family, as do I. This is emotional, absolutely. It's an innocent crush. It would never get physical. When I said bring it up to her, I did not mean professing my crush and wish to be with her or anything like that. What I meant was bring up the fact that it's not normal to text so much, as harmless and in innocent as it is, and our working relationship if I'm not mistaken is turning into a mutual crush, which does not seem right. I would never throw my life away for a stupid harmless crush. It's easy to say then don't, stop it. But it's not that easy. I do want the crush feeling to go away. You've contradicted yourself so many times in this paragraph. Be honest with yourself and please stop justifying it all. If your wife was doing what you're doing with a male married co worker, texting for hours on the weekend and also so much at work, feeling emotional attached to him, crushing on him, enjoying it all I'm 100% sure you would NOT be pleased about this. Your intention is not an affair, neither is your co worker... The thing is, men and women that feel an attraction and a crush - You both are feeding it and fueling the fire by spending time together on a personal level, the texting etc.. Without you knowing, you're gonna emotionally detach from your wife. It's already happened as you spend way too much time thinking of your co worker. You think it's harmless and innocent, it's not. It's damaging, more than you realize. Otherwise you will end up posting in 3 months that you two kissed and groped, and how great it felt but you feel so guilty but can't control what you feel. You can stop this if you really wanted to. Put your wife and kids first. Their needs above your own and imagine losing what you have. Imagine your wife feeling hurt by what you're doing. You certainly should not tell your co-worker how you feel. When you find yourself thinking about her you have to force yourself to stop. If it's not a phase, get a divorce 1st then pursue her. I am not going to say that you're unhappy in your marriage but there's something missing even if you don't realize it. This will take a toll on you and your marriage because of the time devoted to this crush. I can also tell you it is very hard to let go of something like this because it's a friendship that's grown and that itself us hard to give up no matter what. I do wish you the very best luck with everything I am not going to say that you're unhappy in your marriage but there's something missing even if you don't realize it. This will take a toll on you and your marriage because of the time devoted to this crush. I can also tell you it is very hard to let go of something like this because it's a friendship that's grown and that itself us hard to give up no matter what. Cultivavate the things you want to grow and flourish marriage and weed out the activities that are potential threats. This girl is not your friend. Tell her to do just that and to leave you out of it, and focus on your marriage if you are indeed as happy as you say you are. Imagine a year goes by and you keep putting effort into this relationship and your feelings continue to grow? What are te possible outcomes? Cut it out now. Be pleasant and civil and professional and nothing more, unless you feel like blowing up your marriage is something you want. Imagine how devastated your wife will be if she were to learn that not only are you having these feelings, but you are not taking action to distance yourself from this person and are in fact developing a relationship with her. Imagine the tears and disgust and contempt for you in her eyes now, before it's too late. Or divorce your wife and pursue a woman who flirts with men outside her marriage. I am happily married for 3 years with absolutely no desire to ruin my marriage. I love my wife and my beautiful daughter. Recently I have been crushing on my married co-worker. It is weird, I could see if i was unhappy, but I am happy. My crush is not happy in her marriage. I find her so much fun to be around, she is cute, and her personality is hilarious! Even on weekends we text about random stuff, and before you know it, it is 2 hours later. Nothing shady or anything that i would not want anyone, especially my wife to find out. I find myself constantly thinking about her, looking forward to seeing her, making excuses to see her, etc. I know she does the same. She actually is texting me as I write this. I am ashamed to say, i get butterflies sometimes when she is around or when she texts me. It is so weird, because again, i am happy in my marriage. I am not looking for anyone to tell me to pursue this. Quite the opposite, I want people to tell me I am an idiot. I want her to tell me she is happy in her marriage and loves her husband, instead of always complaining about him. This is not going to get easier. We are working on a big project for the next few months, and will travel together here and there. Nothing will happen, but this is not easy. I want this feeling to go away. I want to feel normal again, and see her as just a friend, which she is. Should i tell her how I feel? I think you need to establish boundaries ASAP. She shouldn't be texting you at home, and you shouldn't be responding to them. I would tell your co-worker that you leave your mobile on and that you and your wife have an understanding that there's no privacy where mobile phones are concerned. It's inevitable that you'll encounter people you find attractive - being married doesn't stop that. You can't control those circumstances, but you definitely can and should control how you react and respond once you become aware of those dynamics. The easiest thing to do is to put yourself in a situation where one thing can't lead to another. If you don't, then you're just as responsible for whatever happens next as she would be, even if she initiates it. You're putting way too much effort into her. Texting for hours on the weekend? Turn your phone OFF and spend time with your wife. You are 'bonding' and allowing feelings to grow with your crush and that's very dangerous. You say you wouldn't cheat and you love your wife but things can happen.... You need to talk to your co worker and just say you need some distance and it's not fair to your wife that you are focusing and bonding with another woman. And, don't worry about hurting your co workers feelings, she knows why things have to cool down, she isn't stupid. Yeah, the texting thing is dangerous. A spouse could be forgiven for assuming that it's already an emotional affair. I'm not saying it is, but it could be perceived that way. This is crossing lines already, I think. And no, trust me, I'm not a holier-than-thou type. I don't judge the person, I just evaluate the behavior and, from my own knowledge of life, I can tell you that this doesn't end well. Put up boundaries now, OP. You need to choose now - your wife, your family and your dignity... If you truly love and respect your family, you will not risk destroying them as you are. If your wife sees those texts and realises the frequency of communication... Your marriage will be forever impacted by your selfishness and lack of self control. You will beg, plead and cry for your wife to stay with you and not leave you. You will regret it forever. Pull out from the project, and immediately cease all contact with this woman. But your wife and family should be worth the effort. You let this go too far, and now you need to correct it. Go NC with this woman, and focus on spending quality time with your wife and your family, and enriching your own life. Get to the bottom of why you feel the need for validation and flirtation with other women, and fill this void in a healthy and productive way. Sort this out, and correct the wrongs now. Otherwise, be fully prepared to inflict serious pain upon people you claim to care about and love. Quote: Is this difficult? But your wife and family should be worth the effort. Which is more important? Your vows you said to your wife, your beautiful daughter's happiness, their safe home and comfort of a family unit as one or your own personal happiness by flirting and getting too close to another woman. You choose, nobody is holding a gun to your head. Maybe you want both? Many do but it's wrong and very unfair to your wife. Part of being married is, giving up other women and yes that means pursuing crushes and getting to close to them. And before you say 'I'm allowed to have women friends' I totally agree! But, those who have opposite sex friends have innocent and platonic ones and their spouses know and are involved as well. Has your wife ever met your co worker? Have you ever met your co workers husband? Sorry if my words and my posts seem harsh... Nobody wants to see you here in 6 months posting that your wife caught you having an affair with your co worker, or you posting that you've fallen in love and confused between co worker and your wife. If you don't, you have a lot to lose. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

This process takes months, but once the insurance approval is given — the surgery date can come pretty quickly thereafter 2-3 weeks. Today I decided to address the pattern of behavior as a whole. Autobus it clear that you want to keep working together and hope your reply won't change that. Elective surgery is often necessary, but there is some flexibility in scheduling. You should tell your husband what happened. Be kind and consider the other person's feelings, but be con in explaining that the relationship is one of mutual respect based on the fact that you are co-workers and does not go beyond a professional friendship. This will help you treat everyone fairly and normally. This thought process can sometimes be intrusive, and you may find it solo impossible to stay on task.